Inward Learning - Positive Mindset

Evolving Positive Mindset in Children

We all want to help our children succeed in life.  We want to ensure our children are happy and successful and that they grow up as adults with high self -esteem and adequate resilience to cope with whatever life throws at them. Is there a magic formula to instil all these important abilities and raise happy and successful kids?

By Monica Sood

To start with, it is important to ask ourselves - What does success really mean?  Does it mean living your life to full potential or merely striving to gain or win something by establishing superiority over others? What are the factors that contribute to a child's success?  For many of us, success is about academic attainment – good grades, passing exams, cognitive abilities i.e how well children work with numbers, literacy and other academic subjects. Unarguably, we can't deny that these abilities contribute to a child’s future success. However, if we want our children to lead  a fulfilled and contented life, can we ignore the importance of non-cognitive abilities such as self- awareness, creativity, initiative, critical thinking, positive mindset, resilience, empathy and patience that play an equally important role in laying strong foundation for a child to lead their life to full potential?

Starting from birth, children develop brain connections- neural synapses- through their everyday experiences. They’re built through interactions with their parents and caregivers and by using their five senses to interact with the world. A young child’s daily experiences determine which brain connections develop and which will last for a lifetime. The stimulation and interaction they receive in their early years makes all the difference and lay foundation of their belief system/mind set. And remember, as a parent, grandparent, a caregiver, a teacher, we have the biggest influence on a child’s mindset. Our words and actions can have an enormous impact on their thoughts, feelings, emotions and sensations. The phrases and expressions we use to interact with them help them to evolve their mindsets. 

A negative statement such as Mia can do it and she is younger than you. You are lazy and never give your best if replaced with positive language such as I appreciate that you tried your best even it was really hard for your age, You can achieve anything if you are passionate and work joyfully towards it can positively affect their confidence and willingness to learn. How we communicate with children especially at moments when they are upset or scared regulates their capacity to respond to stressful situations. A sensitive and calm response from caregivers when a child is upset often has a profoundly positive effect on their brain and triggers the development and strengthening of neural connections in the brain between the regions that control emotion and cognition which is responsible for them to learn that they have the capacity to manage and cope their feelings and emotions; even the unpleasant ones. This understanding proves immensely valuable and empowers them to evolve a positive mindset. This means that instead of avoiding or ignoring the negative situations, they learn to face the potentially bad situation more rationally and try to see it as an opportunity to identify their abilities and strengths.

Children who grow up with significant experiences of adversity show an opposite effect on the development of their brain, especially the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that controls the most complex intellectual functions as well as the ability to regulate both emotionally and cognitively. In simpler words, this means that these children find it difficult to regulate their responses to failures and provocations. Even small setbacks can crush their confidence which can often result in low self-esteem, serious confrontations and negative attitude towards life.

Undeniably, a positive mindset is the first step towards a blissful and successful life and it can be cultivated at any age, thanks to the plasticity of the brain! As human beings grow, various neuronal pathways are formed depending upon the interactions and stimuli that the brain recieves on a day to day basis. Everything they constantly hear or observe creates and strengthens neural pathways to form belief systems and habits within them. These then become the driving force which governs their actions, reactions and choices in adulthood. 

We can safely conclude that it is vital to provide children with a calm, supportive and responsive environment at home and in school so that they can develop neural connections responsible for a healthy array of capabilities and belief systems. When we prioritise these abilities and mindsets and integrate them with academic development, we equip children with the tools to become self-aware,  independent, responsible and motivated individuals.

Monica Sood

Founder of Author In Me Publishing

Co- writer of My World book series